I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
