Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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