Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?

(323): View more from California

Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

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(979): View more from Texas

We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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(416): View more from Toronto

BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

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(631): View more from New York

Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me

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