I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me