Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.

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  (714): they just dont make restraining orders like they used to. http://tfl.nu/scp3
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (3258)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

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  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (25) Good night (2532) Bad night (4757)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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  (902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76
  Replies (20) Good night (3110) Bad night (5170)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

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  (908): I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level http://tfl.nu/dixb
  Replies (35) Good night (6971) Bad night (646)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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  (704): It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States. http://tfl.nu/t1qp
  Replies (16) Good night (6524) Bad night (1027)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

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  (270): I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world. http://tfl.nu/l4ml
  Replies (17) Good night (1013) Bad night (8492)
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  (408): View more from California

  You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now

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  (408): You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now http://tfl.nu/y80h
  Replies (15) Good night (4092) Bad night (1133)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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  (207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1
  Replies (25) Good night (9556) Bad night (1034)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system

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  (516): Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system http://tfl.nu/i7jp
  Replies (18) Good night (4948) Bad night (869)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...

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  (219): ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference... http://tfl.nu/jx5w
  Replies (15) Good night (7293) Bad night (961)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.

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  (706): Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check. http://tfl.nu/kz2a
  Replies (7) Good night (2550) Bad night (660)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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  (603): I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST. http://tfl.nu/xkvr
  Replies (22) Good night (2009) Bad night (540)
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  (852): View more from

  I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..

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  (852): I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again.. http://tfl.nu/4a3e
  Replies (4) Good night (430) Bad night (1056)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.

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  (937): pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it. http://tfl.nu/fw0p
  Replies (6) Good night (1141) Bad night (425)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.

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  (757): So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied. http://tfl.nu/fpwe
  Replies (6) Good night (706) Bad night (542)

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