Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.