Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.

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  (503): Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now. http://tfl.nu/gxcf
  Replies (7) Good night (1124) Bad night (2845)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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  (512): we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us http://tfl.nu/0aiz
  Replies (2) Good night (2871) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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  (402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h
  Replies (12) Good night (651) Bad night (3134)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time

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  (512): Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time http://tfl.nu/c4as
  Replies (19) Good night (4860) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.

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  (717): I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this. http://tfl.nu/8qff
  Replies (6) Good night (4920) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
  Replies (12) Good night (5656) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are

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  (717): we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are http://tfl.nu/vwno
  Replies (22) Good night (7180) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.

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  (337): I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe. http://tfl.nu/8iw1
  Replies (13) Good night (2784) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.

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  (847): couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner. http://tfl.nu/srex
  Replies (6) Good night (2404) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position

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  (954): tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position http://tfl.nu/ss2w
  Replies (5) Good night (997) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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  (989): If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals. http://tfl.nu/so0f
  Replies (8) Good night (1008) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car

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  (803): Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8fhk
  Replies (6) Good night (1038) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.

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  (970): My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment. http://tfl.nu/pqim
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (145)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.

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  (303): I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well. http://tfl.nu/mq4y
  Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.

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  (937): I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it. http://tfl.nu/13iq
  Replies (0) Good night (177) Bad night (243)

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