I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.