And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.