i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.