just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
