dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
