I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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