just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize