if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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