at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
