maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize