She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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