I just pynch a tree in the face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
