Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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