this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
