All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
