hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is wine microwaveable?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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