lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
