absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
