That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We have started to decorate penises.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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