Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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