i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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