Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
