We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
