I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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