Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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