yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
