Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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