Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
