I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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