could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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