u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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