Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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