So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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