community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What drink are we having for lunch?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
