Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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