we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
