shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
