with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
