did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
