I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Why is your signature on my underwear?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
