why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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