Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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