We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
