It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
did you just send me my own nude
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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