sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
