...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize