so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
