Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
