I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You need a sexual gate keeper
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
