So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
