Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
