Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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