cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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