I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
