you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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