that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
