The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
