your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize