dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Acid is not a monday night drug
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
