you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
