I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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