So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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