nut hugger
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
