Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
