she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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