We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize