I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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