I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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