This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
