how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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