I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
