yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize