Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
