Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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